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Kissing…..Tongue or nah?

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What if someone stuck their tongue down your throat at the end of a first date? Would you push them away (maybe even slap) or would you follow back with a kiss of your own? I can recall going on a date with an older gentlemen a few months back and we ended the night right outside of my car before he reached in and stuck his tongue in my mouth. I immediately pushed him away and remember instantly feeling grossed out, slightly violated.

     First of all, let me say that I am a kisser. I love to kiss, I’m generally an all around oral man and good at it. If I’m in a relationship, kissing is a desired requirement in all aspects of intimacy. We all grow up with the fantasized imagery of ending a fairy tale date with a nice kiss on the lips but if I am very attracted to someone, going in for kill with the tongue is a feasible option, but when is it truly okay to take the kissing game to the next level?

     I am infamous for having one too many drinks at the club and having a full make out session on the dance floor with a dude I just met and not thinking twice about it. Call me slutty! The morning after conversations with my best friend about the make out session usually leaves me with the thoughts of wondering where the hell was this man mouth before I was making out with him? Does he brush teeth reguarly and practice good oral hygiene? Has he had any oral sexual encounters with other people right before slapping saliva with me?

     Whatever the answers to those questions are, you are now somewhat connected to that person because kissing can be very intimate. I’ve have some friends say they don’t kiss at all and think it’s gross but don’t mind giving head, others say they will kiss but only in a relationship, but for me kissing is a clear indicator of my attraction and most of the time helps me reach my sexual peak.

Whether you giving a peak or tongue there are some simple tips in ensuring a pleasurable and respectable make out session:

1.Make sure your Mouth is hydrated

2.Make sure your lips are hydrated

3.Make sure your breath is fresh

4.Keep the tongue inside the mouth

Remember folks, Water is your best friend when it comes to kissing no matter the size of your lips. Big lips, small lips, all lips need love. So I ask, how soon is too soon to use tongue?

plays Kissin You, by Total.

 

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Celebs

Offset: “I Cannot Vibe With Queers” + The Problematic Black Community

Offset of the Migos has a line in the song where he states, “I cannot vibe with queers”. Now as a black gay male, I can completely understand how hanging out with the gay community can sometimes be overwhelming. But the statement made was derogatory and offensive. Personally, I don’t give a fuck who Offset hangs with, but to offend the people that support you and root for your is just dumb. Gay people bumped Migos’ songs, and now it wouldn’t surprise me if there was a backlash. How do you say you can’t vibe with queers, when your whole vibe is “queer”? Every time we see you, you are dressed like a young gay man trying to make a fashion statement with your blouse. Since being attacked, Offset has attempted to “apologise”, and he attempted to spin it and say that he’s not talking about the gay community…..but that sounds like a poorly written, PR attempt that is full of grammatical errors. He can save it.

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I haven’t blogged in a while, because I haven’t really found much interesting to form an opinion on. But in this instance, I have to speak out. Lets dive in.

In the video above, Offset of the Migos has a line in the song where he states, “I cannot vibe with queers“. Now as a black gay male, I can completely understand how hanging out with the gay community can sometimes be overwhelming. But the statement made was derogatory and offensive. Personally, I don’t give a fuck who Offset hangs with, but to offend the people that support you and root for your is just dumb. Gay people bumped Migos’ songs, and now it wouldn’t surprise me if there was a backlash. How do you say you can’t vibe with queers, when your whole vibe is “queer”? Every time we see you, you are dressed like a young gay man trying to make a fashion statement with your blouse. Since being attacked, Offset has attempted to “apologise”, and he attempted to spin it and say that he’s not talking about the gay community…..but that sounds like a poorly written, PR attempt that is full of grammatical errors. He can save it.

This statement however leads to the problem with the black community. Not the whole community, however, a vast majority of it. What the black community seems to do is want inclusion in America, while excluding certain groups of people. For many males, if you are a gay black female, you are celebrated. But when you are a gay black male, all of a sudden we are a disgrace, we had to have some traumatic rape that changed out lives, we aren’t respected as men and so much more. And from females, we are treated as accessories. We are fun to hang with, party with, and do all of those things, but once you realize the power that gay black males possess, there’s a lot of jealousy, hate and anger towards the black gay males. Meanwhile, a vast majority of black females today want to be gay black males.

The problem with this statement is that it is equivalent to a white person saying, “I can not vibe with [N-Word]”. That will get your blood boiling a little bit won’t it? One of my main issues with the black community, is that we are quick to categorize and discriminate against each other. Eventually black people will have to understand that gay is the new black. The same way blacks fought for their right to vote in 1965, gays were fighting for the right to marry. The same way blacks are outraged at the police brutality because of the color of their skin, gays were outraged at all these hate crimes because of who and how we love. Black people want the world to cry every time a black person is killed at the hands of the police, but were the main people saying the Pulse nightclub incident was ok and made jokes. If the black community as a whole would learn to see us for our similarities and not our differences, we could get a lot further in our journey.

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Life

Tamar And Vince File For Divorce

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According to TMZ, Tamar and Vince have filed for divorce. Now it’s no secret that they have had issues in their marriage, but she has made it clear that she was ready to focus on her marriage and give up the music aspect of her career…and this was just weeks ago.

Tamar’s rep tells TMZ the singer made an “extremely difficult decision” in filing for divorce. The rep adds, “Collectively, their son Logan and his well being during this very unfortunate process is most important.

In MY OPINION, this isn’t a real divorce. If you remember just last week, Vince lost a lawsuit against Sony, where he has to pay back $3M dollars. Oh but that’s not all, from what the world learned a few years ago, he still owes the IRS money as well. So you may be wondering why I say this isn’t a real divorce? Well, Tamar is about to go on an arena tour to promote her album with Xscape. She also has some deals with Steve Harvey coming up, one rumored to be a talk show. Wouldn’t it be horrible if you made all these big deals, and instead of going to the bank with those check, you had to pay off your husband’s financial woes? Granted, a lot of those financial woes have come from her, after it was suspected that her husband purchased most of the copies of her first album. My prediction, they will get the divorce, but will still be very much together.

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Hollywood

Mary J. Blige Covers Essence Magazine

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Mary J. Blige covers ESSENCE magazine’s  November issue. In her sitdown with the mag, the nine-time Grammy winner discusses her role in Netflix film, Mudbound which is set in the Mississippi Delta during the Jim Crow South, as well as her feelings on love and more.

On Believing in Love Still:
“Love is the only way. You can hate yourself while someone else is saying, ‘You can’t. You won’t. You never will.’ Or you can choose life…”

On Transforming After Her 14-Year Marriage Ended:
“I had just come back from performing on the Bad Boy Family Reunion tour with all the nails and the wigs, and I wasn’t trying to depart from that. So when it came time to get into character, I was like, ‘Can I wear a lace-front wig? Can I get some lashes?’”

On Her Role As Florence Jackson in Mudbound, which will hit Netflix on Nov 17:
“Shedding Mary J. Blige for Florence gave Mary J. Blige some confidence… like a lot of it. [On set] I could hear people whispering, ‘She’s so beautiful.’ And I was like, ‘Who the hell are they talking about?’”

The November issue of Essence hits newsstands this Friday. For more on this month’s issue, visit Essence.com.

My thoughts, decades in the industry, and she is still a cover girl! That in itself says a lot.

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